In Death I Live by Lindsay Becs

RIVER

“Holy shit, is she already asleep?”Cruz asks, looking dumbfounded at a sleeping Zora in my arms.

Chuckling, I shift to get a little more comfortable with her sleeping on me. “Looks like it.”

“That has to be a record. Most compliant girl we’ve ever had,” he says, letting out a woosh of air and sitting back on the couch.

Lifting a brow at him, I say, “We, huh?”

“Don’t even play like that,” Greyson says, looking like he’s practically foaming at the mouth to get his hands on her. The exact reason I held her to me and pulled her into my lap when we sat down. His grabby hands can’t stay off anyone for long.

Pushing her hair away from her face, I stare at her a moment. “Doc said she needs to rest her ribs for at least a month.” I run a finger down her nose and over her lips. “We might have to get creative.”

“I don’t trust her,” Domonic says, pissing me off. The asshole doesn’t trust anyone. Ever. Except for the rest of us in this room.

“What harm could she possibly bring down on us? Look at her!” Grey practically shouts, getting itchy to feel her. Egging him on, I keep slowly running my fingers up and down parts of her body while she sleeps. It doesn’t take long before I hear him let out a pained groan. Smirking, I look up at him and see him biting into his lip while gripping his cock through his jeans.

“Grey,” Dom snaps at him. “Go find someone to sink into and take care of that. If she has to wait, then you have to wait. She’s not here to be hurt more, dick face.”

“You literally just said you didn’t fucking trust her, and now you’re protecting her?” Grey scoffs. “Whatever, man,” he says leaving, grabbing his keys on his way out and slamming the door behind him.

We all stay quiet, with the exception of the game still playing on the TV. “Are you going to mark her?” Cruz asks after a while.

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “I trust her more than Dom seems to, but I’m not ready to eat her alive like Greyson either.” I sigh looking at her sleeping peacefully, unknowingly in the arms of darkness. “I want to give it—her—time. To heal but also for us to get to know her more. Maybe—” I pause, my brows pulling together in contemplation. “Maybe she’s our missing link we’ve been looking for.”

Domonic stands, walking over to loom over her and me. He stares down at her and I wonder what he’s thinking, but then I realize I don’t think I want to know what goes on in his sick mind.

“You might be right,” he says after what seems like hours. Then, softer than I’ve ever seen him before, he leans down and presses a kiss to her temple. “Keep Greyson away from her for now.”

He goes, leaving Cruz and me alone. When I look up at him, his mouth is hanging open in shock, showing what I’m feeling too. “Wow. Maybe this chick really is what we’ve needed.”

“Dude,” I muse. “He was, dare I say, gentle?”

“He almost seemed like he had a heart in that hallow chest of his,” Cruz guffaws.

“Creepy as fuck,” I laugh softly, trying not to wake Zora. “I don’t know if I like it. I think I feel better when he’s an angry motherfucker.”

“You’ve never brought a girl in on your own like this,” Cruz says after our laughter dies down. His eyes bore into me, asking the question I don’t have the answer to yet… Am I going to keep her?

I swallow over the lump in my throat. “I just don’t know.”

* * *

ZORA

I remember fallingasleep in River’s arms last night, but I don’t remember coming back to his room. It makes me feel uneasy that I fell asleep so fast and hard without memories of hours. But I don’t feel off. I know what it’s like to wake up and know that you were used in ways you didn’t want to be. That’s not how I feel now.

Now, I feel… rested. Turning to look at the clock on the nightstand, it reads eleven, and I’m surprised I slept for so long. I don’t usually sleep well. Part of growing up in foster homes of abuse through the years.

I sit up, looking over to where River slept the night before, but he’s not there. The room is still dark like it’s the middle of the night, thanks to long dark curtains that hang across one whole wall of the room.

Pushing my hair back out of my face, I let myself enjoy the peace and quiet of the moment, not knowing what the day will involve.

When the clock clicks over another minute, I force myself to get out of the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept in, making my way to the bathroom. Squinting when I turn on the light, I look at my beat-up face. It’s better than yesterday, but I still look like shit. I take a deep inhale in annoyance at how I look, then wince when my ribs protest.

I see a new toothbrush sitting on the counter and assume it’s for me. I brush my teeth and then reach for the hairbrush that was next to it to run it through my hair. My eyes close at how good those simple tasks feel in the quiet solitude.

Nervously, I leave the bathroom and peek out of the bedroom door, not knowing where to go. Remembering that the room where we ate breakfast yesterday was to the right, I turn that way and walk slowly, biting my thumb as I do, like the boogieman is going to jump out at any moment.

Turning a corner, I see River sitting behind a desk. He lifts his head when I reach the doorway. His face splits into a gorgeous smile, making me feel embarrassed for some odd reason.

“I wondered when you’d wake up,” he says, sitting back in his chair. “Sleep good?”

Nodding my head, I reply, “So good.”

“Good,” he says with a nod of his own. Realizing that we just said good” three times in a row, he laughs. “Sorry, you make me nervous,” he admits, dropping his head, rubbing the back of his neck.

My brows pinch together. “I make you nervous?”

“I don’t usually…” he trails off, his own brow pinching in concentration for a moment. “This is new for me too, angel.”

We stare at each other, neither of us knowing what to say or do next. I know I should probably be scared being here. In this house. Alone with him. But I’m not, and that thought scares me more.

“I’m almost done, then I’ll have Miss Mel bring in lunch. You hungry?” My stomach growls before I can answer, making him smile at me again. “You can sit and wait in here if you want,” he says, nodding toward the leather couch opposite his desk.

I turn to sit but stop when my eye catches the bookshelves lining the walls. Slowly, I walk to them, my fingers sliding across the spines. I smile when I see Little Women, pulling it from its place, and I bring it to my nose and inhale. Looking back at River, who’s watching me, I ask, “Can I read it?”

“Of course. You’re welcome to read any of them you want.” I smile in appreciation, then dive onto the couch, tucking my legs under me. Biting my lip in excitement, I open up the classic book and start to read.

I’m lost in the March family when River stands over me. “Lunch is ready. Are you?” he asks with a lifted brow and smirk.

Leaving the book on the couch, I stand to follow him to the room where we ate before. On the table sits plates stacked high with grilled cheese sandwiches and steaming bowls of tomato soup. I wonder if in my sleep I told him that grilled cheese was my favorite, then shake my head because that’s ridiculous.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, picking up a sandwich and dunking it into his soup.

“Grilled cheese is my favorite.”

“Really?” he asks around a mouthful of food.

I nod, picking up one of my own. “I love making up new variations of it. The possibilities are endless and always taste so good.”

He picks up his sandwich and holds it out to ‘toast’ against mine. “I can get behind that.” He winks, and I melt a little for him.

River isn’t anything like I thought he would be. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this. He has a childlikeness to him that seems sweet and almost innocent. It’s endearing. And in a world full of monsters and demons and evil, I like this side of him.

The next few days go on like this one. He works—or whatever it is he does at his desk—while I read across from him. We eat three meals together that Miss Mel brings in. Then, at night, we watch movies before we fall asleep.

* * *

“I needto leave for a little bit today. You okay staying here?” River asks as he pulls on a pair of jeans. His chest bare, hair still wet from showering.

I wonder why he hasn’t tried to kiss me or touch me or do anything sexual with me since I’ve been here. I’ve been sleeping in his bed with him at night, for fuck’s sake. Maybe he really is just that good. Maybe I should make the first move, I think as my eyes watch a rivulet of water drip down his body until it disappears where the small trail of hair leads into his boxers.

“Angel?” He says my name, and my eyes snap up to his to see him smirking. Busted. “You okay here by yourself for a little bit?”

Thankful he didn’t make a big deal of me eye-fucking him, I nod. “Yeah, I’m almost done with my book.”

Closing the distance between us, he puts his hands on my shoulders. “Don’t leave this wing of the compound. You can go between my rooms here like you have been, but don’t go anywhere else. Understood?” I swallow, him making me nervous now. “Miss Mel will come check in on you and bring you lunch.”

“Okay.”

He stares down at me, a long silence passing between us, and for a second, I wonder if he’ll kiss me goodbye. Instead, he gives me a soft smile, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Then he grabs his shirt from the bed and leaves without saying more.

I feel his absence the moment he crosses the doorway. Wrapping my arms around my middle, I sit back on the bed. So stupid.

I’ve only been here a week, but it feels like I’ve known River so much longer. We’ve developed this unspoken language between us. It’s comfortable. And I know what to expect from him.

With him gone, I’m alone. And for the first time since I got here, I feel lonely.

I shower and get ready for the day. Putting on a clean pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt—both River’s—I pull my hair back and braid it while I walk to his office to finish reading my book.

I’m, once again, so lost in the story that I don’t hear when someone comes to stand in the doorway. They knock on the open door, making me jump.

“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” a guy says. I stare at him, trying to remember his name. He must read it on my face because he puts his hand on his chest. “Cruz.”

“Zora,” I tell him.

“I stopped Miss Mel when I saw her bringing you lunch and told her I’d bring it. I hope that’s okay.”

“I guess.” I shrug, picking at my nail nervously, my eyes on my lap. “River only told me to stay here and not leave his wing.”

“Fucker.” I hear him mumble and look up at him to see him smiling. “He wasn’t wrong. But I’m not going to hurt you, baby girl,” he says with his hand on his chest again.

“That’s reassuring,” I murmur, making him laugh.

“Come on,” he states, tilting his head toward the hallway leading to where I know lunch is. “Let’s eat.”

“Y-you’re eating with me?”

“Is that okay?”

I stare at him, my teeth raking over my lip. “I guess so.”

His beautiful smile lights up his face, making him look harmless. I stand up and follow him out to the table set with lunch.

We eat in silence for a while. I mostly just pick at my burger and eat some of my fries while I try not to be obvious about looking at him, taking in his gorgeous face. Green eyes that sparkle with mischief lined with dark lashes. His smile is one that transforms his face from beautiful to earth-shattering gorgeous when he smiles. He’s the kind of guy who makes girls stupid, and if I’m not careful, I’ll be one too.

“Did you know that in Oklahoma it’s illegal to take a bite from someone’s hamburger?” he asks me, and when I look at him confused, he picks up my burger and takes a huge bite from it. My mouth hangs open in surprise.

“What the fuck?”

Laughing through a mouthful of my burger, he sits back in his chair. When he finally swallows it down, he looks at me and shrugs. “You weren’t eating it.”

I throw a fry at him, then pick up what’s left of my abused burger and take a bite of my own.

“Good girl. You need to eat,” he says, going back to his own.

“Did you know that the most common time people wake up during the night is 3:44 a.m.?”

He smiles, licks his lips and then says, “In Pennsylvania, it’s illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator.” He takes a drink then adds, “Outside.”

Laughing, I return with, “More than ten people each year are killed by vending machines.”

We go back and forth, laughing hysterically as the random facts we share get more and more ridiculous. It feels like it’s been only minutes, but when his phone buzzes, he looks at me reluctantly and says, “I need to go. I’ve already been up here longer than I should have been.”

“Okay,” I say, feeling disappointed.

He stands to leave but drops down to crouch in front of me, his hand resting on my knee. “Don’t tell River, okay? This will be our secret, baby girl.” He pops a quick peck on my cheek and then leaves.

I go back to the office to finish my book, surprised when I see that Cruz and I were joking around for almost two hours. I smile as I open my book back up. That was the most I’ve laughed… ever, I think.